Loser Society

Did you finally workup the courage to ask a girl on a date?  If so, good for you!  This is truly a step in the right direction.  The first step in jumping into the dating scene is asking.  But, what if you received a no?  What does it mean?  Continue reading on to find out and for tips on how to handle a first date rejection.

The Scenario:  You like a girl from school.  You asked her join you for a movie, but you were turned down.  What do you do?

It is important gauge the no answer.  Does she outright say no?  Does she say she is busy this weekend, but maybe the next?  If the girl says maybe next time, do not give up.  There is still hope for you.  On the other hand, if she outright says no, you may feel like running away in embarrassment, but don’t do it.  Casually say “I’ll let you know if it is good.”

The Scenario:  You asked a woman from work to join you for dinner, but she said no.  What do you do?

Once again, you should gauge her answer.  Did she outright say no?  Did she say she didn’t like seafood?  If you get a no because the woman doesn’t like your choice in restaurants, offer another suggestion.  In fact, say “I’m not really a picky eater.  If you would like, you could pick the restaurant.”  Wait and see what she has to say.  If she says yes, good.  If she still says no, it is time to move on.

The Scenario:  You asked a girl from school to join you at the beach, but she said no.  What do you do?

As always, you should gauge the answer no.  Also, look at her body language and consider her tone.  Is she disappointed or is she truly not interested.  A girl who shows disappointment may be interested in you, but she may not like your suggestion of an afternoon at the beach.  In terms of teens, know that most girls are fearful about their body.  The may fear you seeing them in a bathing suit.  If you get that type of vibe, suggest something else, like a movie.

The Scenario:  You asked a woman at the office to join you for drinks after work.  She said no.  Now what?

When it comes to workplace relationships, there are a number of factors to take into consideration.  A coworker may be interested in you, but she may fear workplace gossip or worry about her job.  Never pressure a coworker into a date, but don’t be afraid.  Ask for a date in private and suggest a bar away from work, so you won’t run into other coworkers.

Plans should also be taken into consideration.  Does your coworker say “I would love to, but I have other plans.”  This means you still have hope.  It is easy to ask a coworker out for drinks or a dinner after a day of long work, but she may have other plans.  On Tuesday, suggest meeting after work on Friday.

As highlighted above, you may receive a no to a first date offer in many scenarios.  Before giving up all hope, consider her reaction.  There may still be hope for you.  If not, brush yourself off and move on.  It is a tacky, age-old saying, but there are other fish in the sea.

The common sense is, if you’re smart, you’re smart your whole life, and that usually comes with success. So if you’re not smart at all, you’ll know it since earlier ages. And it goes like this, smart kids usually end up in prestigious schools and hold the key to future; while not-so-smart kids will fill up the society (you know, like the majority of us). So when people say “bright start,” it implicitly means “bright future” as well.

Well, if it’s always like that, there wouldn’t be any losers. Why? If you, and others, don’t expect too much of yourself, you won’t feel unhappy as things turn out not so good. But when you start expecting too much, you’ll feel real pains when life turns south. And I believe that’s the concept of “losers.”

I want to give many examples, but I don’t know that many, although I hope you do. Perhaps the best example would be for some Hollywood movie stars, I mean, the not-so-successful ones. When the Seinfeld sitcom got so popular, people all expected each of the cast members to be successful later. Well, sure you see most of them got a role in some movie here and there, but none of them ended up anywhere near that expectation. Call them losers? Not quite, since they make more money than any average American, yet in some sense they’re indeed the losers. My point is, it’s the comparison (to expectation) that makes one feel like a loser.